i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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