They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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