People with herpes should wear stickers.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
