shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
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I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
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Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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