But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
