Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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