i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
