he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize