is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
