the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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