marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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