Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
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Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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