I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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