Kiss
Puke
Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
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