i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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