laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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