I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
