So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
two words: eviction party
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
