and you said cock pushups were impossible
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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