he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
