i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
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