I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
