whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
