haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Randomize
