she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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