ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
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