great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
the liver wants what the liver wants
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
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