Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Who wears a wallet chain?!
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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