areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
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