He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Randomize
