dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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