i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
