Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
How does it feel to date your dad?
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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