this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
