Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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