grandma shit on top of the toilet
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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