i always forget guys have bellybuttons
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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