she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize