Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
You took a bar mat shot.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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