Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize