is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
