I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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