Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
