She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Well I just put wine in my tea
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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