Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
