We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
