He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
