2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize