I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
