Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
