Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Randomize
