She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
