If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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