i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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