I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
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I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
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Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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