If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
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