Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
We smell like vodka and hangover
His nipple licking is glorious
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