What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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